A Heavy Metal Christmas
ith the likes of Panzerchrist, Rotting Christ, and Impaled Nazarene, heavy metal is more about Christ Illusion than Christmas. But as these videos show, metalheads aren't devoid of holiday cheer. Santa's not far off from Satan, after all. Pack a bowl, pass the eggnog, and jingle hells bells, motherfucker.
Exit light and Vince Guaraldi, enter Tourniquet. Those kids in Peanuts were always more grown up than we thought. Snoopy and Pigpen shred, of course. Shermy may have ended up playing a shepherd, but here he does a mean running man. Did you know one Peanuts character had a number for a name? That short-haired kid with the shrug dance—his name's "5." That's so Slipknot.
MetaFilter recently had a thread about the best gifts for people you hate. On the list, of course, were drum kits for their children. The parents of these boys (aged seven and eight) must have made some enemies—either that, or they don't know what they're in for. The boys themselves are pretty hip, bashing out a credible "Iron Man." I've never seen a drummer so excited to play straight kicks.
No heavy metal holiday is complete without Twisted Sister's (in)famous Christmas album. This video takes time to get going, but it's worth the wait. Hats off to the band's roadies for the fastest setup ever. Even today, Dee Snider's linebacker-gone-Hedwig getup is shocking. Dig the "Hava Nagila" quote at the end.