lanis, Britney, and Pink don’t hold a candle to Avril Lavigne. They’re all so annoying and phony. Alanis thinks she’s some important musical prophet, as though we’re actually supposed to take her seriously. Britney thinks she’s actually talented, which of course, she isn’t (that’s if you don’t count her ability to turn guys on with the flick of an eyelash, breast, or ass). Pink is even less talented than Britney. Her tough guy routine is as threatening as Britney’s and her voice sounds like Robert Shaw scratching that blackboard in Jaws. While that sound will be remembered for yet another year, it’s unclear as to whether Pink will be.

Avril is not some brilliant songwriter, and her voice is good, but not amazing, and her ‘tude is a little ridiculous at times. Despite this, she is the most refreshing and exciting girl in pop rock today (minus Madonna, of course). Let Go is her debut album—and it’s a good debut, but not a great album. Every song was co-written by Avril, with help on some songs from hit maker extraordinaire, The Matrix. With all of this negative energy I am stirring, one would think this 17 year-old from Napanee, Ontario isn’t anything special, but that’s not the case.

First of all, she dresses like a real 17 year-old girl. Yeah, she wears skater clothes, and yeah, her music doesn’t fit the scene, but she looks real cool and cute with that wife-beater and tie, baggy clothes and sneakers (all clothes you can buy at a local skate shop and not exclusive to Rodeo Drive). It sure beats Britney’s falsies popping out of a rubber top three sizes too small for her (sure, we get kicks for a few seconds looking at that shit, but is it really respectable for someone to wear that?), Pink’s specially made punk clothes (could you imagine D&G clothing Johnny Rotten?) or Alanis’ hippie nightmare garb (designer clothing that makes you look like you don’t care is even worse than any of Elton John’s wardrobe).

Secondly, Avril’s music is fully rock-based with crunching guitars. None of this gut-wrenching dance pop, that evokes seizures and uncontrollable vomiting. Yeah, the album occasionally borders on adult contemporary with the handful of ballads, but when do artists of this sort write listenable ballads? Actually, “Anything But Ordinary” isn’t such a bad semi-ballad...surprisingly.

Thirdly, she is only seventeen. Alanis was doing her best imitation of Tiffany that age. Britney was doing exactly what she’s doing now, and Pink, well, who cares, she was a nobody. Give Avril a few years to catch up, and she might just become something worth turning the radio on for. We can only hope that she doesn’t catch onto trends as easily as Madonna, or become falsely inspired by another culture like Alanis did (and Madonna), or try to prove she has become a woman like Britney did, or pretend like she can beat up any dude like Pink does. She has plenty of time to blossom into a good singer/songwriter. Who knows how much of “Complicated” she is responsible for, but it’s a damn-fine and extremely catchy song that is played repeatedly on the radio and MTV, and nobody hates it.

Finally, she is Canadian* and actually mentions it in “My World”. Yeah, Alanis is too, but when does she ever represent?

*Sorry, I am a Canadian that feels our country is overshadowed by the powers of the US, hence our nickname, USA Jr.