begged my editor to let me review another album. "I will do a disservice to the loyal readers of OHJ by trying to review a style of music I don't like and don't listen to," I pleaded. "Just give me the new Orbital album or something!" My lamentations fell on deaf ears, and so I was forced to review Old Ramon by the Red House Painters. I've heard RHP's sound referred to as "dirge-pop," and while that seems an apt description, I'd like to include "dirge-folk" and "dirge country" to the mix.


The songs on the Old Ramon are quite long for a "pop-rock" outfit - several tracks clock in at over eight minutes. This is largely a result of the slow progression and pace of the songs - if Lyle Lovett slowed down and added a few more verses to his songs, they would easily approach the eight minute mark. The songs evoke a quiet sullenness, with repetitive acoustic melodies and melancholic singing. The lyrics are probably sad and heartwrenching as well; unfortunately I could hardly make out any of the words.


The first song, unfortunately titled "Wop A Din Din," starts off the album the way RHP starts everything - slowly. Acoustic guitar and vocals are the meat and potatoes of this band, and this track keeps it to just that. Some backing vocals come in toward the end, creating a very surreal harmony. Interesting, if a bit repetitive.


The second song, "Byrd Joel," starts out sounding like Lyle Lovett on mescaline. Electric guitars kick in, with a mild attempt to rock. Something tells me the lead guitarist is a bit unsatisfied with his role in the band. "Void" continues the sad fate of the lead guitar, as he is processed into the background in favor of mumbled vocals. Luckily, he gets a chance to show off in "Between Days," featuring a rough guitar lick Matthew Sweet wishes he wrote. However, the lick is repeated for about eight minutes with little variation. A few modest strings enter toward the end, sounding out of place despite being mixed into the background.


"Cruiser" ends RHP's brief love affair with the electric guitar, going back to the same country-tinged depression rock, this time with a bit of blues thrown in for good measure. "Michigan" steadily layers looping patterns of acoustic guitar, drums, and bass while a slide guitar meanders over top - easily the most interesting song yet. The lyrics are more intellible as well - I think I made out "I don't need a house in mbmphm..."


"River" is the centerpiece of the album, the best song, as well as the longest one (over 11 minutes). Again, the electric guitar is tinny and processed into the background, but it is grittier and noisier. The vocals reside at the forefront, but they are processed and echo-y. Instead of relying on melody, the track takes a textured My-Bloody-Valentine approach. The result is haunting and wonderful. "Smokey" flirts with the distorted guitar again, but unfortuantely it is once again relegated to the background in favor of that damn vocalist. Don't be surprised if egos collide in RHP at some point. "Golden" is a short acoustic-guitar-and-bass ditty, and "Kavita" closes the album with a derivative Lyle Lovett bluesy ballad.


Did I like this album? No. But is this a good album? I would say it is. The Red House Painters belong in a Sherwood Anderson novel, as the house band for a dive bar. However, they do not belong in my playlist.