emember the first cover band you ever saw? I do. I had just entered junior high school. I was still under the delusion from my "Holy" upbringing that masturbation was sinful even though my hormones were stating otherwise. I also knew I had to wear Airwalk sneakers, Stussy/Gotcha shirts and Bugle Boy pants in order to be "cool" or I was would be ridiculed by my seventh grade male counterparts. Music was the furthest thing from my mind and pitiful allowance. Of course, at the time, music consisted of whatever Mr. Casey Casem was playing on his Top 40 Countdown. Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" were in heavy rotation on my small ghetto blaster. Now, you have to recall that Mrs. Nancy Regan was on her national "Just Say No!" kick spreading money and that all endearing message. Hence, my school decided to get involved.

One day we were led into the cafeteria, which also served as the auditorium. The whole sixth grade class was there. What evolved in the next 2 hours was awe inspiring to our pubescent minds. A cover band began to perform our Top 40 greatest hits. It was incredible! They sounded just like "The Boss", Huey Lewis and even the "King of Pop". Before long we were all standing in our chairs, clapping, jumping and singing along. These four guys not only played like the real groups they imitated, but dressed like them as well. They were cooler than cool. Of course after every fifteen minutes they would tell us drugs were bad, but hey, we could handle that.

What a difference a year makes. Fast forward to the seventh grade. Hormones were making masturbation a necessity instead of a sin. Music? Well thank god for friends' older siblings. Metallica, Pink Floyd and Nine Inch Nails had taken the place of those wussy pop bands. To hell with Casey Casem. However, our school administration missed the boat on our evolution. One day, again, we were called into the cafeteria to listen to the same cover band that we were rocking to last year. This time the guys looked old. Beer bellies pertruding, mullets on the head and looking like they still wanted to be 18. We sat through the performance, yawning and looking at our watches, while one brave soul began to stand and dance on her seat (of course she would be the butt of many jokes for a week). These guys were unoriginal, wannabees if you will. We all knew it now because it had been done before.

If you are going to make a career of covering songs you have to show ingenuity...you have to make it different from how the original composer had created the songs. Otherwise you are just a poser wishing you were someone you're not. So, when I heard that the new Tori Amos album, "Strange Little Girls", was going to be all cover songs, I was skeptical to say the least. Tori is like the ying yang of female rock stars. Most guys would rather swallow razor blades than listen to a Tori album (besides Little Earthquakes of course). Girls? Well, they swoon to the sweet, licorice taste of Ms. Amos. Who can blame them? There are not really many renowned female artists in today's music world.

Due to lack of sales from her previous two albums, Tori has decided to cover popular songs that we all know and love. Well, not really. But you get the point. We do have to give accolades right away to the new album. This album was created in order for Tori to "produce a female version of traditional male songs" (as stated by her website). This she does accomplish without much argument. The album flows with Tori's signature slow, piano melody covering such songs as Eminem's "97 Bonnie and Clyde". Here she is playing the part of a wife who is dead, listening to her husband explain to their child why he killed her. This is done with a soft, profound melody compared to Eminem's hard rendition. Another highlight of the album is a cover from Depeche Mode, "Obey the Silence". Again, the song is slowed down, being performed more as a poetry reading in a coffee house. The content whimsically falls in the ears of the listener as a calming of their soul, more than a depressing venture into the mind.

However, despite these two exceptions, this album lacks its own originality apart from the original composers. Other artists covered in the album include Tom Waits, John Lennon and Paul McCarthy and Martin Gore. Some of these songs have no relevance of a "male viewpoint" besides the obvious fact that they are performed by males. Most of these songs are changed to some sluggish, lackluster rendition of the original. Such songs as "Happiness is a Warm Gun" added voiceovers from President George Bush speaking on gun control. The purpose of the add-ins is missed, as the sound bites are not speaking about women wielding a weapon. Although it seems the album tries to implement change within these cover songs, it really doesn't shed much light on the "female perspective". In much of the same way cover bands try to perform songs with varying melodies, this album falls flat resembling more of a heavily scratched vinyl.

This does not conclude the entire editorial of the album. The added bonus of a photo spread is included with the insert of the compact disc. To go along with each song, Tori doll's herself up to provide a visual stimulus while listening to each track. Of course, all of these pictures are with hair extensions, make-up, etc resembling more of an aspiring super model. Instead some whimsical art that we can ponder, we have a Vogue Magazine spread. I am not sure what is the purpose besides an obvious ego of believing in her perpetual beauty. It really makes me want to gag. These images do nothing for the album expect to express to the fat, unattractive female die-hard followers that a sense of beauty and elegance is needed. We know Tori more for the male bashing, feminist "girl power" ethics that speaks with lyrically to her audience. This does nothing but state, "I am a phony".

Taking the step of creating an entire album by covering songs takes guts. You are stating that originality is out the door (ala P. Diddy). Even with the changes in melodies/harmonies "Strange Little Girls" misses the mark of a typical Tori album. It falls somewhere between the $5-7 bin at your local music store. For the die-hard fans, I believe they will find this album a little less than disappointing. Within a year they will claim, "This wasn't her best album...but it was okay." But truthfully, it will be at the bottom of the list for a long time to come.