Back in the day, Transformers were all the rage. The idea of giant robots that could disguise themselves as the creatures, automobiles, and electronic appliances of everyday life—by transforming, natch—appealed to every child of the 80s and early 90s. The names Optimus Prime and Megatron were instantly recognisable to pre-pubescents.
The cartoon series was an entertaining, if not simplistic, weekly half-hour ritual. It may have come off as a poor (Western) man’s robot anime, but it still managed to spawn a cinematic movie. Released in 1987, it is memorable more for killing off half the cast of characters (to make way for a new toy line-up) and for being Orson Welles’s last film.
Bizarrely, the soundtrack has outlived, perhaps even transcended, the film. The music chosen for the film reflects its 80s birth—it’s all OTT guitar pyrotechnics and synthesisers at ten paces. During the movie, the music is at times absurd and very often intrusive. However, taken on its own merits, the music is of some value, which I have only recently rediscovered.
Spectre General – “Nothin’s Gonna Stand in Our Way”
For a soundtrack built on high-octane 80s guitars, this is its modus operandi taken to the extreme. The tempo is through the roof. Power chords chug away over workmanlike drumming. The guitar solo is suitably showy. Every aspect of this song—from its repetitive lyrics to the thousands of guitar overdubs—is musical overkill.
It’s an aggressive number. The nasty vocals are recorded harshly; the treble shreds your ears every time the title line screams through your speakers. It’s a wonder it made it past the squeamish soundtrack producers—the band’s name was actually Kick Axe, but apparently this name was too offensive, hence the inexplicable Spectre General.
Vince DiCola – “The Death of Optimus Prime”
There’s always the danger of losing meaning when movie instrumentals are stripped of their cinematic context. This song soundtracked the controversial death of the all-round good guy Optimus Prime and was vital to the most emotional scene of the entire goddamn show. Even now when I hear the song my reaction is colored by this traumatic scene.
But from the keyboard lines and haunting strings to the shimmering chimes (synthesised, of course) and duh duh-duh-duh duh duh bass line pilfered from The Terminator, this instrumental is genuinely affecting. A thematic constant in sci-fi is whether robots can feel human emotions. Transformers: The Movie hardly settled the issue—if it even grappled with it at all—but this song settles another issue: synthesisers can create pathos.
Stan Bush – “The Touch”
This is the soundtrack’s opening salvo, but it leaves the most lasting impression. Who wouldn’t want to live a life where “you’ll never walk, you’ll never run” from trouble and where “you’re a winner”? As a six-year-old I was fairly certain that I had “the touch,” whatever the hell that was, and this song was my anthem.
It’s obvious why it was chosen as the movie’s de facto theme: it is energetic and invigorating, and a call to arms. “The Touch” is exactly what you would expect from an 80s battle song. It is completely trashy: there’s synth lines copped straight from “Baba O’Riley” and absurd Van Halen guitar histrionics. The pounding snare is more processed than the cheese in my sandwich and the singer is as impassioned as he is anonymous.
Sure, when you hear it in the movie it is completely jarring and incongruous, but as a stand-alone song it is completely memorable. The melody is as infectious as the song’s sentiment. There’s musical genius being channelled in these four minutes that rings loudly even twenty years after its creation.
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