They�re losing the name �The Neptunes� because �phase one� is over. Chad is learning guitar because they�re fed-up of Spymob. Pharrell is the richest man in the universe and wants to marry a girl �still at college�. They�ve run out of beats. The video really badly sucks ass. Chad�s the musical backbone, family man keeping outta the spotlight; Pharrell�s a media-whore.

All of the above is True! And also False!

So some dog barks, and that�s like musique concrete, right? A nod-of-the-head to the avant-garde? And then some big winging drums like a tribal thing, except that Boredoms do it much better. (How to label the genre for Boredoms on iTunes, that�s the question? Krautrock? Electronica/Dance? Rock? Japanese Groove Noise?) A nod-of-the-head to the avant-garde? Isn�t that what Timbaland does, by taking everything in his little sonic box and sticking it all together, and making every last little sound a separate hook? And The Neptunes do the opposite, right; make one hook and par everything else down into that moment, strip it all away? What the fuck.

Yeah, I�ve gotta be honest, despite naysayers, it does make me want to move. But that little yelp that Pharrell does - �she�s SEXY!� � where his voice jumps up like it sat in the damp-patch, that just reminds me of Cameron Diaz in Being John Mlkovich when she first travels into Malkovich�s head and finds him towelling down after a shower; i.e. however often you say �SEXY!� it is not sexy. At all. The piano that guides the bridge into that strung-out, two-note guitar whine that might just be very fucking 80s cop-show if I could remember any of them, that�s passable, and I love the guitar over the chorus, like Hot Hot Heat sounded in my head before they were fucking shit in my CD player. And that lyric! �Her ass is a spaceship that I want to ride� � c�est magnifique, mon frere, c�est tres magnifique (le sange c�est dans l�arbre, oui oui, voulez vous kiss my ass?). But no, it�s no �Loser� and it�s no �Brain� and it�s no �Provider� and it�s no �Things Are Getting Better�. Will it do? For now.