Appearing on The Turntable for one week only!
As I can’t figure out the scoring mechanism, am having my emails to William B. Swygart rejected because I’m not polite enough, and have lost control of my senses, we shall forgo keeping tabs on how the two teams are doing today. Suffice to say that after this week’s somewhat erratic choices by the Yanks I fully expect the Brits to pull away in Monday’s results. Or I would, if seemingly half the contestants hadn’t chosen this week to take a bye, the scallywags. Anyway, here’s Gavin’s insanalist commentary on his picks…
Gavin Mueller
1. Britney Spears - Toxic [NEW ENTRY]
This week America struts it stuff in the UK in the face of way too many homegrown ballads coming out this week. I imagine this Madonna-lite will play even better across the pond than it does in the States.
2. Busted - Who’s David
This song is pretty crappy, but it’s so ingenuous I can’t help but want to give it some love. The residual pop-punk trappings help it stand out from the more adult-contemporary fare coming out. Plus, they bring out the cheese in heavy amounts, and you know how Americans feel about cheese.
3. Sam & Mark - A Little Help From My Friends
Better than any American Idol single, but then again this was written by the
Beatles. And wisely, this track changes little from the original (Rule #1: Don’t Fuck With The Beatles), besides cleaning things up a bit. I’ve never been much of a Beatles fan, but this song does something for me. How terrible would it be if I got into the Beatles via Sam & Mark?
4. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know
Coldplay’s got some chart downtime, but their fans are hungry! They can gnaw on this gristle for a while. [The singer in Keane may just be the ugliest baby I have ever seen – Ed.]
5. Westlife - Obvious [NEW ENTRY]
Charting Westlife over Lord And Master Ronan Keating? My theory (and the guiding principle behind this song) is that more is more. More members is more better. More production is more better. I still can’t extract myself from the syrup left behind by those string arrangements.
6. Twista - Slow Jamz [NEW ENTRY]
I’m not sure how American hip hop plays in the UK, but this song should play well everywhere. It’s miles better than 50 Cent’s “If I Can’t,” which came out this week, and — surprise! — sounds like every other 50 Cent song. After overcoming my initial horror at Jamie Foxx singing the hook, I learned to embrace “Slow Jamz” in all its polyrhythmic glory. Sure to be one of the biggest singles of the year, I’m giving it some time to work its way up the charts.
7. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above
Mashups in the top ten! What a country! [Just because it’s a mash-up doesn’t mean it’s good, Gav – Ed.]
8. Raghav - Can’t Get Enough
Whoa, this song rules! Justin Timberlake goes bhangra, a far more complete melding of Eastern and Western pop trends than Panjabi MC. Barring a Jay-Z remix, this will never hit the US, but I’ll pull for it where I can.
9. Outkast - Hey Ya!
The pop juggernaut has been slowed by the tempestuous and unpredictable UK waters. Even though I’m pretty much done with this song for a while, I’m not foolish enough to knock it out of the Top Ten. Yet.
10. Deepest Blue - Give It Away
However, I am foolish enough to drop “Milkshake” off in favor [why are you afraid of U’s? – Ed.] of a pet pick — Deepest Blue’s dancefloor burner. Something about those swirling atmospherics does it to me. Plus, what good would a Top Ten be without a token dance song?
And here are the picks from the rest of the crew…
Todd Burns – bye [Our beloved captain is moving house and thus absent, something the American team may regret because the rest of them are insanalists with no idea about the British charts this week – Ed.]
Jon Brandt – bye
Dom Passantino – bye [Dom is running for election this week; last I heard he’d taken California – Ed.]
William B. Swygart – bye [William’s already seen the midweeks, and considers voting after this fact to be tantamount to cheating; fool, I say! – Ed.]
Scott McKeating
1. Peter Andre - Mysterious Girl
2. Britney Spears - Toxic
3.Westlife - Obvious
4. Jamelia - Thank You
5. Busted - Who’s David?
6. No Doubt - It’s My Life
7. LMC vs. U2 - Take Me to the Clouds Above
8. Outkast - Hey Ya
9. VS - Love You Like Mad
10. Kylie Minogue - Red Blooded Woman
Scott Plagenhoef
1. DJ Casper – Cha-Cha Slide [“this is really shit!” says Scott, constructively – Scott; as an American, why are you voting for stuff to hit number one that the Brits aren’t even picking to go Top Ten? Are you insanalist? – Ed.]
2. Britney Spears – Toxic
3. Jamelia – Thank You
4. Peter Andre – Mysterious Girl
5. Kylie – Red-Blooded Woman
6. Westlife – Obvious
7. George Michael – Amazing
8. LMC vs. U2 – Take Me to the Clouds Above
9. Blink-182 – I Miss You
10. Busted – Who’s David
Simon Hampson
1] Peter Andre ‘Mysterious Girl’
2] Busted ‘Who’s David’
3] Westlife ‘Obvious’
4] Sam & Mark ‘With a little help from my friends’
5] 50 cent ‘If I can’t’
6] Jamelia ‘Thank you’
7] Outkast ‘Hey Ya’
8] lmc vs U2 ‘Take me to the clouds above’
9] Lemar ‘Another day’
10] Raghav ‘Can’t Get Enough’.